Monday, February 8, 2010

Day 3: Pick an Aiden

It is time to tell you the truth. Your boyfriend/husband/life partner sucks. There is no easy way for you to accept it so I will just rip off the band aid and let you know it. How have I come to this conclusion? Because, I have watched my brother-in-law with my niece. We are talking about a man that not only works all day but then he comes home and pulls a station domination on this kid. There is no doubt that this baby will be a Daddy’s girl. He comes home goes straight to the baby, gives her a bath and plays with her. Puts her down for her nap makes dinner and then continues on with the late night feed. I thought it was just a novelty act but apparently he has been this way since the baby got home. That my friends is why your (wo)man blows in comparison. He not only handles the crazy of the existing family but manages to nurture the next generation of crazy as well.

The day continued on the best way that it could with an all too brief Skype with the McCain family and a few bits of interaction with FBIM with Ali. I woke up at the usual time and walked the 36 stairs that are between the laundry room and the main living room a few hundred times (more like 40 but whatever). Moved my stuff from the Dungeon and into my parent’s room and watched some TV. There was little baby interaction because seriously Daddy is on his game. Speaking of games, there wasn’t one for me to watch here. You see my entire Super Bowl Sunday was your Saturday night. So I was left to dream of a nice little winning Colt’s headline an extra day longer than most of you.

The biggest development was Iris and I went to the store. As all my readers (the now three of you) know I am as useful in a grocery store as a rat. I don’t know anything nor do I care to know anything. This may be a lack of survival skill or just another sign that I surround myself with women that take care of me. You and my future therapist can be the judge. Either way it was exciting because I got to wander around the store clueless and have a reason to be clueless (it was my first time there) rather than wandering the same Wholefoods that we normally go to without an excuse.

I did manage though to make an excellent egg white omelet with bacon for a late snack for my sister that made her happy. We watched a few episodes of Sex and the City while Daddy bathed the baby and it led to an interesting point: my sister and I hate Big. Now I know that this is controversial and all but Big is an ass. I hate him and to be honest in my mind Sex and the City ends after Carrie goes to Paris with her happy Russian (because the Aiden ship had sailed). Or maybe in Paris Carrie meets someone new and exciting. Anything besides settling for a man that never respected her, never defended her, and never was there for her emotionally or physically. He lied, cheated, and left her throughout the course of their entire relationship and the Happy Ever After of her ending up with him makes me vomit and want to Reenact a SAW movie. Big is the equivalent of Lucy and that damn football.

I have a serious problem with Sex and the City if you can’t tell because, I feel that the show in an attempt to show the strength of women, actually showed the weakness of women and has further more created a culture of women that think that equality means sleeping around with random guys, true love betrays you, and that materialistic possessions should be your focus instead of a solid banking plan. The sad thing is I find the show entertaining because as someone living in New York I understand what they are talking about and how weirdly true-to-life the show is in the NYC scene. Even down to giving guys nicknames because their real names are irrelevant until it becomes serious (that’s why we never learned Big’s name until the end of the show). Or maybe it is that I have chosen one too many Bigs?

I made a snide remark about “What I really hate about this show is that it promotes Bigness. People never choose Aidens they choose Big.” I sat there smug in my pop culturalness because I thought about how I just laid this huge revelation at my sister’s feet. Then she looked down at her hand and said “I chose Aiden”. I hate that witch because once again she is right. So, maybe the lesson I learned on day three had nothing to do with the baby but rather how to get to a baby or that having a baby is meaningless without having an Aiden and sadly there are just aren’t enough of them out there.

*PS Your boyfriend/hubby/partner doesn’t really suck. I just think my brother-in-law is pretty damn cool and learning some excellent Spanish.

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