Unplugged

So after some deep meditation and a not so friendly reminder I have decided to do the unthinkable for my trying to do something new in May: I will unplug for a week and see how I go. I know. Some of you are trying to wrap your heads around this blasphemous statement. I would be safer running into the Apple store and say that the iPhone has no clothes than try to unplug.

That is the sick and twisted reason I am doing it.

This week from Monday until Sunday I will be DARK. No Facebook. No Twitter. No Blog. Obviously I will have to use the internet for work and email but now social networking, not even for Linked In. Foursquare though I am not giving up. I know Neda wants my Mayorship too badly.

I have always been plugged in to the net from my days as a wee young lad on the dial up throughout my world travels including the boondocks of the world like Darwin or Christmas Florida. I would walk 3 miles up a hill both ways in Scotland just to make sure that I would be able to read insincere emails with my ex and of course order my comic books online. I am a child of the internet. I am trying to see though if I can be a child of life instead. You know – circa the 1980’s before the emailing and message boards eclipsed boy scouts and riding my bike to Goodings.

I know that this will leave several of you in a lurch. By this I of course mean my mom and Joan McCain. The rest of you will be as affected as the Winslow family was when little Judy went up the stairs never to be seen on Family Matters again. For those of you that care though remember to watch an All New GLEE on Tuesday night at Right after Idol (the live show that can’t end on time). The weirdest thing will be the Song of the Day on my facebook status. For this I apologize and weirdly will provide you with the following songs of the day which I hope will keep you moving through the day:

Monday: For You I Will (Confidence) - Teddy Geiger
Tuesday: You Keep Me Hanging On – GLEE all new Tuesday @ 9/8c on FOX.
Wednesday: The Republic Tigers – Fight Song
Thursday: WTF? – OK Go
Friday: Baby Boombox – The Handcuffs
Saturday: Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
Sunday: Ticket To Ride – The Beatles

Excluding Glee Tuesday – The rest of these songs were chosen by random by my ever trustworthy iPod.

So be good to each other my internet children. I will return. Feel free to call or text if you miss me.

Abuela

I was trying to avoid this topic on my blog because to be honest it isn’t my story to tell and it felt a little too personal. Then things happen which make me go – no one is going to believe this shizzle. My last living grandparent (Abuela) had a stroke almost two weeks ago which has affected the family. Thankfully everything is on its way to fine and she will be released from the hospital on Monday. Obviously I went to visit.

Now I don’t want this to come across as me bashing Puerto Rico because it is a truly beautiful dysfunctional country but, it needs to be said that their health care needs to get a freaking clue. I went to visit Abuela with my parents and we were turned down due to the following infractions:

Visiting hours are 2-4.
I was wearing shorts.
There were too many of us.

Now I may have been known to throw a temper tantrum or two (thousand) under the best of occasions my 98 year old Granny having a stroke is not one of them. Thankfully, my mom was there and manipulated the situation by having my Dad and Her count as hospital staff since they both are registered to practice medicine on the island (high five and mad snaps to the rents). The shorts thing though was a deal breaker. To be honest, I should have known better. But in 98 degrees and humidity that gave me serious afro I just wasn’t thinking straight. Plus to my defense I have never been to a PR hospital and my own parents didn’t correct my wardrobe. Who knew in a country where you can run red lights, have to get a new birth certificate, and can talk on your cell phone while “driving” that they would be so formal?

Mom sweet talked the guy but he still told me that even though he understood I was a teenager I was going to be a man soon and should dress like one. This sentence is fraught with irony. I don’t think he understood how grateful I actually was with it. Although, in retrospect I probably shouldn’t have been so excited to be told I would be a man soon.

Once in the room we visited with Abuela who was very excited to see us. I climbed into bed with her like I have my entire life and showed her pictures of Chupacabra which made her really happy. The nurses who came by then lectured that we had too many people in the room at one time. Even though Granny’s private nurse, Dr. Dad, and RN Mom didn’t count my two aunts, uncle, and I were too many people. This became a farce because our obvious solution was a push and a pillow to throw me in the closet. Literally.

My mom has a history of hiding in closets. As a little kid she would get coloring books, comic books, Oreo cookies, and a glass of milk to trick my sister and I into the closet during rain storms because she was afraid of lighting. We lived in Florida the lighting capital of the world. Somehow surrounded by a fort of pillows my mom felt like we were safe and that made her happy so we did it. Everyday during the summer we would spend an hour or two hanging out in the closet.

Every couple of minutes the nurses would come in and my aunts would hide in the bathroom while I was in the closet.

We left for lunch and security guard told me that I was not allowed back in until I dressed appropriately. I stifled my ^&#$% off and smiled again at the thought he called me a teenager again. When we returned from lunch the guard was not kidding. We had no choice but to distract him while I New York walked down the corridor and up the stairs to Granny’s.

Sunday’s visit was more productive because the guards were overwhelmed with the traffic and I was dressed appropriately. Either way Granny gets out on Monday. Here’s to recovery!

Double Shot of Gleek

So I have been a wee bit remiss on the entire Gleecaps due to some family and business issues. In the interest of time/space/and readability I will hit you both with quick little recaps and thoughts.

Firstly, Home the episode that is best described as why Glee works - The music and the characters to advance the overall story.

In a flash, Sue gets a magazine to cover her and is forcing all of the Cheerios to lose weight including new Cheerios Mercedes. In another Sue V Will, Sue steals the auditorium from the Gleeks which throws him into a path that intersects with our favorite booze hound April. Kurt casts Finn in a revamp of the Parent Trap which quickly goes bad when The Time Warner Cable Guy bonds with fatherless Finn. The entire episode was based on the concept of Home – metaphorically (within your own skin) and literally (the physical kind).

I loved almost everything about this episode from the small character bits the characters have between each other (Brittany/Santana; Puck/Finn; Kurt/Mercedes; Jesse/Rachel; even Artie and Tina had a few beats) to the massive character developments of Quinn – the voice of reason in this episode; Mercedes accepting herself and a healthy way to lose weight; Kurt realizing scheming has consequences and his own insecurities. They dealt with things like that stupid master cleanse that people put themselves through. Not to mention the number of one liners available! I did have a few bones to pick though:

1. Will finding out that Sue is black mailing the principle and not saying or doing anything about it. This is a guy that talks to his students about zits and he is going to forget that his boss is being blackmailed by a woman that wants him fired?

2. For an episode named Home how can we still not know where Quinn is living?

3. No ad buy from Promises, Promises or even a shout out considering the star of the Broadway show is on the episode?

4. I will be as heart broken as Rachel when Jesse’s “surprise” emerges. Even though they weren’t heavily featured in the episode their small interactions in scenes was great.

Overall this is an A episode (even with the cheesy campfire sing along at the gym).

Now to when Glee loses it’s balance - Bad Reputation. I have to stress this again. I love Glee. I love this episode but it shows exactly what happens when the show wobbles. In the Madonna episode was everything I feared Glee would be – insert whatever development needed to get to classic song. Bad Reputation was the opposite – move the characters forward and insert whatever song you can get. In a flash:

Someone posts a list of the hottest Glee club members and this causes the entire club to self destruct (think about a slam book). Rachel pathologically obsessed with being popular moves into a self destructive spiral to achieve a higher ranking. Puck tries for redemption. The other “core” Gleeks (Artie, Tina, Kurt and Mercedez) team up with Brittany to improve their standings as well. Principle Figgans gets wind of this and makes Will figure out who posted the list. The kids also do the unthinkable and post a private video of Sue dancing to the Olivia Newton John’s Physical. Will also assigns the kids to rehabilitate “bad songs”.

My first bone of contention is WHEN DID ICE ICE BABY EVER GET A BAD REPUTATION?!? As one that knows about 98% of the words to Ice Ice Baby I am thoroughly offended that this moment I have wanted for a year was tainted. Also, how is preggers Quinn dancing like this? Actually how can all of these kids dance like that?

I also didn’t realize that Physical (even with Jane Lynch being taken to 3rd base by auto tune) was another bad song the same for Can’t Touch This. Although, I didn’t think Can’t Touch This should have been used. Also, singing in the library is the worst thing they could do? I would think singing something by NWA while starting a food fight would be worse.

I love the movement in all of the casts’ character developments and the crazy introduction of the new Home Room/Astronomy Teach, Mary Katherine Gallagher - even if her lies are awkward and she is of the crazy. Nothing made me happier than Emma losing her stuff in the teacher’s lounge over Will’s screaming infidelities. But Emma would have told Will how she knew. I won’t spoil the culprit’s identity of the Glist but man did I love it. The one liners alone (including the shout out to PuckleBerry fans) made me giddy.

Let’s talk about the most contested plot point: Rachel’s movie. First off Run Joey Run was a great song because this song was crap in the 70’s and crap now. How did she get Britanna to agree to do it? Did the video remind anyone else of BatBoy? Why did it take Finn so long to realize what happened? Also, why doesn’t Puck sing more? To the character development points of the movie. I love that Finn calls Rachel out for lack of a better term for being Rachel. No one gets her like Finn – even if Jesse is the male version of her. A painful discovery for Jesse who has to deal with being triple cast and even in the end Rachel ends up with Fin(n) instead of The End.

Even with all of this and Lea’s amazing cover of Total Eclipse of The Heart I don’t get why everyone walks out on her. I guess she tried to explain herself the only way she knows how to communicate and she feels people will listen to her. I just don’t think that this song would be the song. Especially with all of the other real I’m sorry songs that exist. Although the ballet sequence was hot and I don’t care what that stupid writer says Jonathon Groff is hot and Jesse sizzles. I totally buy him as Rachel’s love interest and would actually be more disappointed if the character goes gay. That last scene doesn’t make sense to me so anyone that can explain it you have my cell. It must be the lack of I’m Sorry Cookies.
I would also appreciate it if anyone can tell me where Quinn is living and if it is with Puck then how he snuck out and why he would regress to wanting to make out with Rachel instead of staying on his path to redemption.

Overall B+