Small Packages

The thing about Resolutions is trying to keep them. My resolution was to write 2-3 blog entries a week and then add a new resolution each month after successfully completing the first. So far it is working but I need to write two things before Sunday. Ouch. The punishment for failing to meet my resolution is painful. I won't be water boarded or anything, but worse. I will be grounded and not able to go out for a WEEK. Anyone that has spent 30 mins in NYC will know that the punishment will far exceed the crime. It is difficult because I just wanted to focus on the positive this week.

Tuesday my life was dramatically changed when my special packaged finally emerged from the delivery truck my sister calls a uterus. Eliana Elizabeth is the hottest piece of Australian Angus Beef ever. That is not an exaggeration. It is a statement of fact. So you can imagine how retrospective a moment like this can bring up in a person. They are almost like a flashback episode or a 100th episode celebration. I was thinking of all of the things I had to impart to my little Joey.

First things first, my sister's allergy to pink is not genetic. My favorite colors: pink, brown, and creme will be shared and worn by my Joey. I would teach the art of social media, stellar popular culture, the lessons of secret identities and the meanings behind Jem and Hannah Montana. This little Joey like my last ward (hi Patrick) would know all of the rules of Survivor by age 2. We would go shopping, listen to Pop music, and more. Although because this little nugget would be in Australia my American experience would be even more valuable.

For 9 months I have called the baby a Joey because my sister has a fascination with "old school" methods including not knowing the sex of babies. Obviously, I objected to this because how was I going to shop? Thankfully, I used my powers as a White Phoenix of the Crown to divine the sex of my little bundle of Joy. Either way these are all things I could do with either a boy or a girl. Although I do think the tiarra would be a bit much for a boy, these are challenges that could be worked out.