Great Expectations

I think my expectations are set too high. That is the only thing that I can think of as to why I have yet to be instantly satisfied by a Glee episode this back nine. Weirdly, some of the performances have been some of my favorites (Hello, Hello Goodbye, Borderline/Open Your Heart, and Like A Prayer) and strong contenders for my list of Top Ten Glee performances of the season. Conversely, I haven’t been this happy on Tuesday Night since Buffy and Angel were on the air in 2003. In rewatching last week’s episode I feel that what was wrong with it was that it wasn’t that good of a season opener but a good episode. We needed a buffer of sorts. I get fast forwarding time on the show but, there were a few things that I as a viewer wanted and needed to see. For example what happened to Quinn? Did Rachel and Finn even get to go on a date? Why is Quinn with Puck now when last time we saw her she said she didn’t need any more drama? I wanted to see a school without Sue for an episode and the fall out her “suspension” would bring. Not to mention a few other things. Focusing on this week’s episode though, I am conflicted and I hate that.

Does it make sense that Sue would love Madonna – absolutely. But this level of devotion came out of nowhere like a Tiger Wood’s mistress. What is the motivation? Was Madonna in town? Did Madonna come on the radio? Playing her music over the P.A. everyday all day during classes? Not going to buy it – even in my musical Glee World. I did love the scene in the gym though with Sue inspiring the Cheerios (Becki is back!).

Again we have Rachel making public declarations in front of an Audience which bothers me. I get that Rachel is all about being in public and has that myspace page but some things are private. Rachel talking about the Birds and the Bees to Tina, Mercedes and even Quinn is believable. Santana and Brittany there? Although HIGHLY funny made me cringe and brought me back to my world. Shue just hanging out there and being ignored was funny too since teens ignore parents/teachers all the time. The cut aways to Tina and Emma were hysterical though. I am surprised and thankful though that Quinn didn’t start off the whole look at me I’m pregnant and you shouldn’t have sex -especially since you automatically lose the baby by putting on a bustier.

Emma and Will working together to make them feel better about themselves was great and a nice way to draw Will and Emma together but what did they do? I want the job of writing those pamphlets. The Ray of light Cheer section was amazing but once again a little too over the top. Why couldn’t they have a real cheer leading routine? Stilt walkers in cheerleading? I say thee nay. They should have trimmed that to make room for more snippets of other songs.

Will’s reason for doing the Madonna numbers worked especially since Glee is usually themed like an episode of American Idol anyway. I even enjoyed that the Guys weren’t so quick to be on board. FINALLY we see that the band has to be given a clue as to what song is about to be sung but I will take it. Sight reading is over-rated. The girls getting into full on performance mode was also appreciated (reminding me of Halo/Walking on Sunshine) but come on Quinn is pregnant and she lost her baby bump during the song. Also, CHANGE the guy’s clothes so that it didn’t look like it was the same day. When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist.

Santana/Brittany/Finn at the lockers was amazing and believable. I loved that Santana calls Finn “Finnocence”. I love that she thinks the answers to her problems will be easily solved if she just takes care of the Finn situation and I loved that Finn flinched over the Rachel is dating Jesse comments. Emma V Sue – perfect.

Rachel lying to Finn and him calling her on it was great - especially when she throws the friend card in his face. I needed a little Quinn jab in there though. Rachel had to pine over him for 13 episodes including fake dates while Finn gets to just “deal”. My main problem with this story is that even though I want Rachel and Finn together I don’t want to see it anymore. I don’t think it is always wise to promote the mindset of the second you lose your man you should find another one because then your man will want you back. It is painful, but, sometimes in life the object of your affection doesn’t like you or if they do there is nothing they can do about it. Worse off, sometimes relationships just don’t work out – even if you are “meant to be”. Sometimes you end up just being friends with your “crushes” and that should be ok.

The mashup of Borderline/Open Your Heart'' is amazing vocally but, I hate that they turned it into a weird musical of them walking around the school flanked by Madonna’s everywhere? I mean sure, I am tired of their circling around each other like Roman Polanski and a minor but was this necessary? The weird break away after their liaison though was funny and I think that is where their relationship should reside. I am conflicted on this as I am sure other viewers are. I just think for now though I don’t want to see Rachel and Finn together even though they are my favorite couple. There may be more value in them just having this undercurrent of sexual tension but that she may be more viable with (and I hate myself for saying this) Puck or Jesse. He should find someone new to love like Julie Taylor (Aimee Teegarden from Friday Night Lights).

Will VS Sue in the hallway was perfection but I don’t think it is enough for Kurt and Mercedes to forget everything that Sue has put them though. I get it is a plot point to bring the two of them against Will and calling him out for never giving them solos but it wasn’t the best way of making this click for me. I loved that Sue opened up to them though about her “past” and why she picks on Will. But by now you have to think why the characters don’t know better then to trust or associate with her. 4 Minutes, a song I hate due to overplay (I know the ironies), has never sounded better. I also loved the look of jealousy in Quinn’s eyes as future center square and his brassy hag tore that Madonna song a new one.

Sorry Degrassi, but Jonathon Groff’s Jesse is the sexiest Melchior I have seen in modern teen High Schools. I don’t blame Rachel for agreeing to go forth with their dalliance. The entire scene with them over the piano was perfection. Rachel conflicted between her obvious love for Finn and attraction to Jesse choosing to lie and say that she slept with Jesse in order to see if Finn was hurt reminded me of the games that one plays when they are insecure in a relationship. Fair? Nope. Real? Yes. Finn on the other hand is an idiot. He didn’t want to lose face with Rachel so he lied about his romp in the motel 6. But thinking that Santana isn’t going to say anything about it because she told him that she was using him to secure head cheerleader is dumb even for a character that thought he got his girlfriend pregnant by hot tub-ination. Lying to Rachel about tramping it up in a motel room was believable although not enjoyable. I did enjoy though that he realized how big of a mistake it was though.

The Like a Virgin dream sequence was HOT. I loved how everyone handled themselves and that Santana finally sang. Not to mention the ramifications of the event/non event well, except for Jesse St. James.

I get why they moved Jesse into McKinley but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The kid in the last semester of his senior year where he is the star of the show is going to just drop everything for a girl he just started dating? If this isn’t part of a nefarious plan I will be livid. Also, how is Jesse graduating if he is that talented? This is Vocal Adrenaline where the teacher get’s kids to not be able to graduate so that they can be eligible to compete. Remember, that is where Cheno, I mean April, came from. Plus this will affect his early admittance to UCLA. I did love that Finn’s reaction was so raw and focused on him. Not to mention Kurt and Mercedes pointing out their obvious lack of screen time. The “story” of how he transferred is not legit. I also love Santana’s self revelation,” He’s a spy, I should know”. Will Santana move from Finn to Jesse to further destroy Rachel? How is Sue going to react to this? Not to mention that Shelby is going to raise shades of hell that – eh it’s not real and I am not entertaining it. At least Rachel’s virtue is intact. Nothing will beat “Mr. Shue, is he your son?” Especially when my Idina is Lea’s mom theory is proven correct.

But where was our new “son” during the boys’ lesson on how they are jerks? If you are going to integrate him into the choir make him be there. Especially since Will knew that he was causing Rachel problems. Glad to hear Puck and Artie sing though. I still want to see and here more from Shaft and Other Asian (Matt and Mark). Tina losing her stuff in the hallway though was the most we have seen from her in episodes and it is a crime. Her scene with Artie at the piano cracked me up. If he says “get up on this” one more time though I will pull a Desmond on him.

Finn’s heart breaking apology and then accepting of Jesse was very adult and more like last year’s Finn and that is why the scene WORKED. Finn isn’t stupid he is trusting. It led to his down fall and will again but he doesn’t lose that quality which is why he “let’s” Jesse into the group. I love the song and performance of “Like A Prayer”. They should have shown more of it in the episode but the moment that curtain gets lifted and you see an ENTIRE GOSPEL CHOIR BEHIND THEM it makes you wonder two things. 1. Can I get a reservation for Gospel lunch at B.B. King’s because I miss Gospel music. and, 2. WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET A GOSPEL CHOIR FROM? You can’t compete with a second choir plus we haven’t mentioned them before. They are just there. I hate things that are just there. I wanted a story behind it besides “Hi, I’m Finn and here is your gospel choir.” The biggest thing that pissed me off was that the end was cut off on my DVR because Idol went over. I had to wait till midnight JUST to buy the stupid episode so that I could watch the ending and it not be the complete song on air.

Overall I am going to give it a B+ because my initial reaction to it wasn’t strongly positive but the second viewing did sedate me a little. Either that or because LOST was so freaking awesome I was in the best mood ever to rewatch. I think Finn said it best, "I don't feel different because it didn't mean anything"

Things that annoy me:

Things that annoy me:

Smokers that don’t throw away their cigarette butts.
Preempting Soap Operas.
People that don’t read their emails correctly.
Finding things where it’s and its and its’ are used incorrectly.
Their, There, They’re abuse.
The word Moist.
People eating on the subway whether it is food or their nails.
Wearing scubs outside of a sterile environment.
Being served anything but Grey Goose. A Goose and Ginger IS NOT A GOOSE AND GINGER WITH BELVEDER.
Justin Beiber – just because the little lesbian makes me feel old.
Tyra Banks.
Ashlee Simpson Wentz (unless she is singing La La).
People that get to write for entertainment websites that get their facts wrong. I am looking at you Kate Ward on EW.com. WINNIE AND KEVIN DON’T END UP TOGETHER. I don’t expect normal people to know that (or what Q-Bert is) but if you get paid to write for a news/entertainment magazine I expect you to get it write (get it?).
My mother sending me articles from CNN.
People that talk on their cell phones in movie theaters.
Not wearing sunscreen.
Not being instantly in love with a Glee episode.
The song “What A Wonderful World”
Facebook recommending people to be my friends that I have over 40+ friends in common. Hey Facebook, if I have over 40 friends in common with them and we aren’t friends there is probably a reason (or more) why.

Why the list? Because most of those things have happened to me with in the last 24 hours. Thank fully I have all of you to comfort me – you being a bottle of Goose, a Tim Tam spoon, ice cream, Glee on my iPod, and my talking Stitch.

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

Remember gentle reader (that means Mom) that I have only watched this episode once so this is seriously my initial reactions. Welcome back Glee. My first impressions of the episode were mixed because there were some things that caught me off guard but made sense later. I am still frazzled so some of this will not make sense to anyone but I had to get it out there.

Sue is brilliant. That is all. I will say about this. That and that I was seduced by the glitz and glamor of Showbiz.

Will – shouldn’t have made a deal you didn’t think you could keep. We know it is all about Regionals not Sectionals. Get with the script. I don’t care if there are new watchers and you are trying to get them caught up. You make Will seem dumb and scummier. I do love though that he doesn’t take his own advice until it is forced upon him.

Will & Emma – I get it. I get that he doesn’t know who he is and he is trying to figure himself out but his treatment of Emma and the way he face raped Idina was brutal and made me dislike the character. I don’t expect Will to be the White Knight but I did expect better of him than his treatment of Emma. She shared something extremely personal and caring about herself and he acted like a kid. Ray Charles could see that coming, and not on his face. I get that instant couple doesn’t work but I think he would have handled it better. How do you go to slow dancing in a living (God do I love that) to then making out with another person you just met? I don’t get it. Explain.

Terry V Emma though was entertaining. The salvo of using Will’s forgotten past as ammo against a frail Emma was delicious. It was a way of checking Emma and giving her the doubts and even the motivation to break up with Will so that he could find himself. His make out with Idina worked in that context but I couldn’t buy it in the moment.

I love the Finn – VO and his flip-flop on Rachel but I think he flipped back too soon. I would think that yes he was jealous of Johnny G but still he is a BMOC and he thinks he can get Rachel back at any moment. He would play the field more than 20 mins. before trying to get her back.

Santana and Brittany – HAWT. The cheerleaders date each other and others. This is definitely the show I want kids under 15 to watch.  that is sarcasm.

Before I get too far into the Rachel Rant I have to say I have a HUGE soft spot for Lionel Richie and the song Hello. Ironically it reminds me of someone and hearing John and Lea sing it makes me cry in my sleep because it is hauntingly beautiful. But the freaking orchestra appears from nowhere and it pisses me off. Don’t break the rules Glee. Stop it now. The song was achingly beautiful without them.

Rachel, my darling Rachel, I get you most of all. The falling into an instant relationship and then the speech that Finn gave you. I am not ashamed that I openly wept. Being on the receiving end of that speech before and having to fire back while trying to mask your pain hit too close to home. I also loved her lashing out in song and I have one for each break up. The scene with the “core” Glee clubbers and Rachel was a wee bit too intense. Look, I get being brutally honest and painful admissions. I believe the line is “I know who I am and how many chances at this am I going to get?” was way to honest to announce to a room full of people. Had she said it to Mr Shue (similar to the pilot monologue) or even to both of the girls I would get it. But, it is too much to say in front of Kurt and Artie. That was an intimate moment like the one that Rachel shares with Jesse where she says that this is something she will never get over. Haven’t we all said something like that? Nope? Just me? Ok. I will call my therapist now but Ali is sleeping.

The scene with the old maids club was ridiculous and should have ended up on the director’s floor.

I find the way that they introduced Jesse was trite. It is clearly a set up especially with him looking over Rachel’s shoulder while making out with her and seeing his choir director that looks JUST LIKE HER. Isn’t it weird that he is a senior and has been in high school in 3 years which is the last time that the choir director dated? They are pulling a Debbie LaFave.

That is all because I must go to bed. I will think more as I watch the episode probably 3 more times.

Like a Phoenix

Hannah Montana has a song called “Everybody Makes Mistakes”. Some mistakes are small, like admitting on a blog that you listen to Hannah Montana, Others are larger like casting Ashlee Simpson Wentz on, well, anything. I have been blowing it. What am I talking about? My resolutions. You see as I approach my 25th birthday (just go with it) I decided to go on this quest to improve myself through New Year resolutions. My official one (the 12-31 kind) was to make a new resolution every month while continuing the previous one. The first was starting this blog. It has had it’s hits but a lot of misses since I haven’t really been good with the whole update as much as possible. The second was reading a book a month.

Now, I could get into the litany of excuses as to why I didn’t write but the truth is that I am lazy when it comes to it. The same thing goes with reading “real books”. I am trying to get better. I finished March and it was good if not darker than I normally like to read. I have this rule when it comes to Westerns and anything dealing with War. It is called don’t get attached. For the best example see Into The West. So even though the book was the telling of Little Woman based off the POV of the Father, it wasn’t the safe family fare that I was expecting. Remember gentle reader, we are a product of our environment. My environment was filled with superheroes and princess stories. I finished it and can understand its’ merits but will not be reading it again. I would definitely recommend it though to anyone with a stronger mental capacity.

On my quest for trying new things I have been doing Yoga for the past month. It has helped with my flexibility and I have enjoyed it. So this new month I am trying my new thing: forgiving myself for my mistakes. Which is harder than it seems. It is one thing to forgive myself for missing a subway it is quiet another for the larger things. But, those take two things Goose and Ice. No, I kid – patience and faith. I managed to finish Marches’ book the first weekend of April. It focused me and I can say that I finished April’s book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. I am posting this blog. Meaning that I have done better and that is all I can ask for. That and for casting directors to seriously think about the Ashlee Simpson Wentz thing. I am not kidding about that.

Adventures in Deaf Dog Sitting

I love dogs. Up until I moved to New York I have always had a dog in my life that I could steal/play with/fawn over. First there was Boxie thus named because he slept in a box in my sister’s room. I couldn’t talk so there wasn’t much of a debate when it came to naming the dog. He was around until a little after my 15th birthday and I am still convinced that he was my mother’s favorite child. After he passed, we buried him in the backyard and planted a sapling on top. This sapling grew up to be a strong tree that has survived several hurricanes and blistering summers in the Florida sun.

I would be remiss to mention the stray cat we took in when my sister was in 9th grade. Some future sociopath threw a bag over the fence of our house on Christmas. When my Dad opened the bag he saw a poor bloody and broken black kitten. My father couldn’t bear to have the poor creature’s final hours be spent in the “cold” of winter without knowing any kindness. So, he took the black cat my sister named Chat Noir (black cat in French) into our home where she lived until this last fall. My parents buried her next to Boxie’s tree which is fair considering the cat never quiet got that she was a cat but instead acted like Boxie’s child.

College brought me one of the best behaved dogs I have ever met. You could imagine my surprise when I was greeted at the McCain’s by Joan, a baby, and the prettiest chocolate brown lab I ever saw. Moxie stood in the door jamb as regal as a show dog that had been awarded the Best of show. I loved that dog. I loved house sitting for her, I loved taking her out, feeding her, going to the vet, everything. For some odd reason I could feel that Moxie was actually grateful when you did things for her. She would look at you and nuzzle your leg as a thank you. Not to mention the abuse she would take from the kids who wanted to ride her as a pony. I don’t think I have ever been as heart broken my entire life as when she died to the point that thinking about it gets me misty.

Currently, I just have my Ruby, Sadie, Luca, and Bella to fixate on but I can’t ever pet them because they are miles away.

You might be wonder why the face with the Old Yeller rerun accompanied by “The House That Built Me” or I thought this blog was funny (sometimes). I swear gentle reader (Hi Mom) that this will all make sense. Ali was the same way. She was raised with her precious Peaches who also sadly passed recently. You see it is this internal longing for a dog (preferably a Chocolate Brown Lab Girl named Grant) that is the reason why Ali and I will dog sit for ANYONE (seriously I have references). Ali’s boss Ray got himself a dog last year. A sweet rescue dog that happens to be deaf that is called Scout. Now this is funny because through grades 3-7 I was called Scout as a derogatory slur towards my goody toe-shoes ness. Obviously, these people did not know me or just thought the horned rimmed glasses I was rocking with my Superman tee shirt meant I was some kind of Latin Clark Kent.

Ali and Ray are off at the Kids Choice Awards not seeing Sandra Bullock (Vanilla Gorilla – WTF?) and they left Scout with my next door neighbor David. Well, David needed my help for the evening and of course I jumped on it like it was a trampoline when I was in second grade. It was also the night of Amanda’s going away party from the 622 (my old office building). Now Mom this is the part where you stop reading and anyone else that is bored at work continues. Thanks.

So I may or may not allegedly have skipped lunch and then started drinking. It happens to the best of us (when we are 21 and carrying our collegiate amateur status card) but not to professionals like me. I behaved myself because I knew at 7 I had a doggy date. I waltzed home and grabbed Scout for our walk. Now gentle reader let’s think about this. The 50+ pound deaf dog went on a walk with a slightly inebriated clumsy boy for a walk. I decided that this needed my full attention so I left my iPod at home and didn’t even get on my cell phone after I sent a quick text pick bragging about my ward. I know you are all shocked that my phone left my hand and a drink wasn’t involved.

We managed to do fairly well together until we got to 10th Ave. and 49th street. Scout would not move. She was insistent to the point of belligerence that she was crossing that street and going to the Hudson. Sully would have been proud of her dedication to the cause. It dawned on me how stupid one must look fighting with a deaf dog because I wasn’t talking to her (She’s deaf) so it was more of a physical exchange and visual pleading. People must have been like “why doesn’t the moron just call her?” I felt like Carrie Bradshaw when she took Pete out for a walk and the dog got the runs on the street and she is explaining to people “He’s not my dog”. Later I was told there was a dog park just down the street which was probably what Scout was after. Finally Scout relented because the wind changed and something caught her smell.

We were walking down 10th back to home when she came across two other dogs. The guy walking them was yelling commands and being all Cesar the dog whisperer while I am just holding the chain. The boy dog totally wanted to tap Scout but the girl dog was all fierce and growling. Scout of course just stood there all happy oblivious to this exchange and then trying to sniff her new friends. The guy looks at me and asks me why I am not doing anything. I look at him and say “Dude, my Dog’s deaf what do you want me to do?” But, seriously, what am I supposed to do? The guy lost his attitude and managed to yank his dogs away. Scout looked at me licked her nose and moved on.

When we got home I ordered myself some Mac and Cheese from Eatery with a side of DVR to celebrate. Scout sniffed around the apartment for awhile but quickly lost interest with me and sat herself in front of the front door and gave me the look that I usually only get on first dates. You know the look – the one that screams “seriously let me out of here I have more important things to do then hang out with you - like licking myself and drinking out of toilets.” I took her home and in that short time was defeated because Eatery called and said they couldn’t deliver for some b.s. reason. I had no choice but to cook (i.e. call Vynl) and plop down for some Mean Girls and Modern Family. Overall a success.

Dancing Through Life

It’s a weird feeling when you come home and an extended period of time has passed. There is this vibe like someone has been in my room but I don’t know what is different. At first I was thinking that being back to work reminded me of coming back to school after summer vacation. You have those few days where you wobble but then manage to come roaring back. It feels like that but extended to every aspect of my life. Couples broke up, couples got together, and the world kept turning. It has been interesting to suss out what events were shocking happened and are now deemed minor. Almost like a live episode of LOST.

I had an amazing pantry break with the effervescent Kevin Bacon of the Mormon world Karyn where we chatted and it is interesting to me how every time I talk to her she manages to understand everything I am saying even though it is twangy, slurred, and nonsensical. Then again it isn’t hard to discern what “I can’t feel my face” means in my world. She always manages to provide brilliant insight and an awesome sounding board. She is also quiet a little blogger.

One thing that has bothered me to no end is the failure that is masquerading as American Idol Season 9. Firstly, I like Kara. I don’t care if you turn on me but Kara knows what she is talking about even if she does seem very annoying. She has always made sense to me but, I am use to people hating her. It is weird to find people (all 12 that watch AI this year) like her. It is even weirder to see Ellen who came on strong and then flamed out as a judge. It is also torturous because Naomi from 90210 was calling herself Katelyn and got eliminated. Like Ms. Clark would go out before being able to go on tour? Basically, this season blows.

Speaking of blowing, thine name is Survivor. Yes, I still watch it. No, I won’t finish this season. CLEARLY it is going to be Pavarti Vs another winner at the end.

Lastly Glee, my precious Glee, I am worried about our relationship. It is one thing to have a concert tour it is another to think you are going to pull off a Broadway show. Don’t believe me? Ask the carcass that is Spider-Man. If Peter Parker can’t do it what makes you think you can? Especially because part of it (and by part I mean 2/3 rds of the main draw would be having Lea and Matthew back on the great B-way). How are you going to pull that off and still film? Why don’t you just focus on what I REALLY want which is summer episodes. I have always hated how summer is skipped or briefly mentioned on teen shows. The only shows that did it Right Saved by Mr. Carosi and 90210’s summer season.

Finally, I am finding myself obsessed with Joshua James’ “Lovers without Love”. It is a hauntingly beautiful song that according to iTunes I have heard 25 times this week. Opps. The link for it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJsPjkrwmts

St. Patty's

I was devastated that one of my favorite holidays ended without my favorite annual tradition: Guess the Walk of Shame. You see my legion (hi Mom), every year I love walking to my Starbucks, getting my Grande caramel macchiato, and then walking to work with my iPod blaring as I watch people do the walk of shame. Now, in Hell's Kitchen the walk of shame has classic signs.

1. The outfit is way to night vs day. Plus the heels are usually higher than any cast member from a Dr. Drew show.

2. They usually trip, fall, or run into someone/thing. I prefer the trifecta when they do all three.

3. The large bottle of water.

4. The large coffee.

5. If I am REALLY lucky the caked on makeup.

and lastly, my personal favorite:

6. The what-the-hell-just-happened expression as the person of interest is trying to piece the night together look as they realize they have no idea where they are in the city. BONUS points if they ask for directions.

Now seeing this gives me a glow that last way past my afternoon lunch and into my 4:20 snack time. The fact that I didn't see ANYONE do this makes me start to wonder have people grown up and bought some self respect at Duane Reade? Or did the amateurs stay home on St. Patty's? Neither of these are acceptable to me. Hopefully this will be resolved by Cinco de Mayo.